Or, show me you don’t respect me by telling me you respect me.
I had the experience recently of sitting down with someone I know, and care about, who knows I am transgender, and knows my pronouns are they/them. We hadn’t seen each other in a while.
They began by apologizing, saying that they knew my pronouns, but that it was hard for them. I said it was fine if they made mistakes, I knew they were trying. They said that was great, and then proceeded to misgender me for the rest of the several hours we spent together. Not once did they misgender me and then correct themselves. Not once did they use my pronouns.
That’s not trying. That’s preemptively making themselves feel better about how they were then not going to try at all.
Yeah, I could have corrected them. But this is a relationship I didn’t want to sour, with a person I see very infrequently. Maybe less frequently, now, as a result of this.
They may not have meant it, they may not have done it on purpose, but it says a lot about who they are, what they hold important, and how much they respect me.
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