Fiftyone Seventeen


  • Sapphic Reads: Holigay

    “Holigay” is a term I picked up from Autostraddle. These are Sapphic books that take place during the holiday season, and include a lot of fake dating, for some reason? And Christmas tree farms.


  • Sapphic Reads: Arthuriana

    I’m a fan of King Arthur stories, but they’re always about the doomed love triangle, which only includes one woman, canonically. You can imagine my joy when I found Sapphic books with Arthurian ties. Fortunately, some of them are pretty good!


  • Aardvark 2024.01.27

    Time for an update on my heavy rotation playlist, called “Aardvark.” Again, these are organized by numbers of plays.


  • The attempt

    I did not attempt suicide. I did have suicidal ideation, I had plan, I made a half-hearted effort to carry it out. I did not want to kill myself. I still fantasize about it.


  • Pronouns and my phone’s address book

    For years, my phone, and yours, did not have a default way to list the pronouns of the people in your contacts. Well, no longer. As of this past summer (2023), Apple has a standard, easily visible way of displaying pronouns for your contacts.


  • Aardvark 2023.10.04

    So, occasionally, I think it might be fun to share the music I’m listening to the most right now, with commentary, of course, because I can’t help myself. I have a bespoke playlist I call Aardvark for my songs in heavy rotation. Here’s what’s on it right now.


  • Tribade

    Some time ago, I came across a song called “Me Baila” by a group called Tribade, and as I listened, my lesbian radar perked up, and I started investigating a little more.


  • Imagine Me & You (2005)

    This was the first movie that affected me in a “you might be a lesbian” kind of way. Not that I knew that then, but there was something about it that made me love it more than a hetero romcom ever had.


  • My hair transplant

    I’d like to take this moment, to once again thank insecure old white men for the advances in gender-affirming care they have helped to push. Hair transplant medicine was pioneered and perfected for insecure old white men. I am reaping the benefits. So, my appreciation.


  • The hair on the top of my head

    A great deal of my dysphoria is about the hair on my body. I had a lot of body hair, and I had very little of it on the top of my head. In a mirror, I looked like I had some hair. In photos, it was clear I did not have any.