I am non-binary and transgender, assigned male at birth. I discovered this in 2020, at age 49. (There’s a FAQ if you want to know more.) At the time, I ransacked the internet for stories, accounts, advice, people like me, and what I found was like drinking water in a desert. So, I thought I might be able to do the same for someone else. I hope people find these accounts useful. They are about me and my journey, and may not have much to do with you, or your experience.
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Dequeering myself
A post about when boy mode hurts. Read it ->
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Peeing straight down
A brief and pretty redacted account of my vulvoplasty experience. Read it ->
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The miracle that is HRT
Estrogen (and eliminating testosterone) probably saved my life, here’s a little about why. Read it ->
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My hair transplant
I’d like to take this moment, to once again thank insecure old white men for the advances in gender-affirming care they have helped to push. Hair transplant medicine was pioneered and perfected for insecure old white men. I am reaping the benefits. So, my appreciation. Read it ->
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The hair on the top of my head
A great deal of my dysphoria is about the hair on my body. I had a lot of body hair, and I had very little of it on the top of my head. In a mirror, I looked like I had some hair. In photos, it was clear I did not have any. Read it ->
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The joy of electrolysis
I began electrolysis… wow, almost two years ago now? Three? Two. I don’t know. It feels like a really long time, because it is the process of electrocuting and then removing your hairs, one at a time. Read it ->
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All about my laser (body) hair removal
As my hair-related dysphoria progressed, I decided to take the plunge anyway. The consultant I met with said, “If I can see your follicles, the laser can see them, too.” That may have been a marketing line, but it was still nice to hear. Read it ->
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The Legend of Korrasami
I was… struck by my reaction. This physical ache was… not exactly surprising? But unexpected? It felt like love, like loss, like the wonder of falling in love and the loss of knowing life won’t ever be the same again. I’ve felt that way, and I recognized it. It’s both lovely and awful, and you never want to stop feeling it. Read it ->
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In which I use the word penis a lot
I’ve decided to pursue what’s generally called “bottom surgery” which is not, as the name might imply, a tushy tuck, but rather is gender affirming surgery on the genitals. Read it ->